We had a hard time getting going around here today. There are so many things on the list that need to get addressed and it was hard to pick just where to start, what progression to follow, and what things to leave for another day. Two important things in the day were connecting with friends from high school and celebrating my sisters birthday.
We had determined that we wanted to create a care package for my sister on how to age well. It was very clever, or so we thought, and included many comedic elements. We created a handbook on aging that had sections such as an AARP application, information on the hover-round, life insurance for the elderly and geriatric medical issues. Then there were several items needed to enter into the next decade of birthdays. Necessities, those "cant live withouts", were carefully wrapped and stowed away in the bag. Tissue engulfed things such as Ben Gay and Hemorrhoid Cream, Anti-Aging facial scrub, pads for your corns, denture cream, and Poise pads.
The question really is, however, what does it truly take to age gracefully. I suppose there is a place for products that make us look and feel young and those that relieve some of the discomforts of not actually being young enough to abuse our bodies without suffering more than a day or two. Beyond those, there are two key ingredients, laughter and attitude. The care package was meant to bring laughter. It did. Smiles and swats at a little sister too young to know the meaning of a number, followed as well. Perhaps, too, it was a representative of the attitude needed to age gracefully. Age is a number that may or may not reflect a whole lot of meaning on your daily life. If you can laugh right in the face of it, while living with it, the days will probably come and go a little easier.
For me, age is a number I can't truly identify with or comprehend. When I look around it appears to me that I am supposed to feel a certain way about myself based on my age. I really don't though. Perhaps this means I am not, or will not, age gracefully. Most days I feel pretty young and until someone asks me my age I walk around thinking I am about 30 or so. I am aging a little because up until about two years ago I really thought I was around 28. Does it matter how old I am? The old saying used to be "old enough to know better, young enough to do it" and I think I am beyond that stage. Personally, I think my motto is more like "old enough to have some wisdom, young enough not to lord it over the young-uns".
Seeing friends from high school was intertwined into this birthday thing. What an amazing time I had, and hope others did too, at an open house. Two girls bound it all together, wonderfully different, displaying the same commitment to enduring friendship that they did way back when they were jump roping on the play ground and playing blind man's bluff on the merry-go-round.
As we drove the hour and a half home I explained the history of these friendships from elementary onward. Seventh grade took me down a journey that started out with finding my identity and ended with tragic events that began defining me without my consent. Going through the doors of the high school meant that I was separated from friend groups I had become comfortable with and had to become acquainted with a whole lot of new people. At that point in life many people find themselves swept along by a river that seems to have a life of its own.
I too felt swept along by a current that quickly became dangerous rapids with boulders hidden beneath the surface. In the summer between seventh and eighth grade my whole understanding of life and my own humanity was torn. My mom died and I was instantly isolated from my peers. I didn't know how to act around them and they didn't know how to act around me. I was no longer interested in performing in school or the things that are typical for a young teen. At that point, I had to try and wrestle with the palpable reality of greif, loss and deep depression. These were soon followed by poverty, extreme family turmoil and feelings of abandonment.
For the rest of my high school career I felt pretty lost. I really did not feel capable of relating to my peers. I dabbled in rebellion, but that didn't really fit me well. So my time was spent trying to navigate my life, ill equipped as I was, and this often meant disengaging in the life I was expected to lead and isolating myself in order to survive. I didn't do so well and I didn't leave high school with a pocket full of great experiences or emotional bonds. Some how I stumbled into adulthood with way too much to learn and a hard, hard road to the education necessary to live life.
The ray of hope shines eternal though. I found my way, falling down, hitting my stubbord head, wounding myself here and there, and picking up a few successes along the way. Two wonderful children have brought grace and beauty into my life, a phenomenal husband has taught me how to allow myself to be loved in spite of, or because of, flaws and imperfections, I developed those emotional bonds and I have friends that I love dearly.
Tonight, was a celebration of friends that wait for everything to come full circle. As a small child in early elementary I felt I was friends with most everyone in my grade. Two girls, Diane and Linda, created some vivid memories during those formative years. However, as I was knocking around, figuring out my befuddling life, we drifted down different forks in the river. A couple of years ago though, a reunion brought me back into the fold of the wonderful people I had the privilege to grow up with and my life has a new richness because of it. Sixty-seven people have spread out over the United States and across the globe. When there is occasion to come back together it is a blessing and a reminder of grace and mercy.
Diane and Linda you are wonderful ladies! You are brilliant, have created wonderful families, bring joy and value to the world and envelop those around you with love, in part because you see beyond the flaws. I am so blessed to have your friendship and that of so many more who share your outstanding qualities. Thank you for your friendship that began in the walls of our tiny school and continues to blossom today.
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